The news this morning from my best friend was unbelievable. Surely she had seen a fake article. Surely. I quickly googled his name and at first I couldn’t find anything. Then I went to Twitter and saw it. Stephen “tWitch” Boss was dead from suicide.
I have to admit, I didn’t follow his career very closely, but I loved watching his videos on TikTok whenever they would pop up on my timeline. I also thought he was one of the best parts of The Ellen Show.
However, I, like everyone else, was in complete shock trying to fathom how someone who appeared so full of light and love and joy could take their own life, especially right before Christmas.
Aside from us finding out something truly unimaginable surrounding his death, (I’ve already seen posts theorizing he knew too much about Ellen and his death wasn’t a suicide,) we are left looking for clues that he was depressed, scared, lonely, mad, etc.
Our brains just can’t seem to fathom that sometimes, the strongest, happiest, brightest of souls can be hiding depression, guilt, anger, shame, even isolation. When someone lets those intrusive thoughts take hold, the darkness grows. The holidays can be some of the most stressful, emotional and lonely times of the year for so many. Yes, even those surrounded by loved ones.
I’ve been there. I mean, most everyone already knows I see a therapist every week. One of the darker reasons was I was feeling alone and like I had nothing to live for. This feeling was taking over and it scared me. Seeking help was the best thing I could have done for myself. Most folks will be surprised that’s one of the main reasons I sought therapy. I mean, looking at me, you’d think I couldn’t be happier. I have a radio show, podcast, and video series. I have a column in a national magazine. I am back in college and on and on. What could I possible have to be lonely feeling or sad about? A lot.
Family dynamics have shifted over the past year, I’ve felt left out and overlooked. I’ve been isolated in my home throughout the entire pandemic. I’m broke. (Not poor, just “paid all my bills and now I’m “broke” broke!) I have felt lonely and as a new decade quickly approaches this next birthday, I’ve felt old. I didn’t really have anyone objective to talk to who could professionally talk me through my emotions.
My point is, sometimes something that might seem trivial to one, is overwhelming to another. In our lives, we never know the true pressure and stress someone, even someone under the same roof, may be feeling. I always end my radio show urging everyone to perform random acts of kindness, starting at home. I feel this is even more important tonight.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, call 9-8-8. Someone is there on the other end to listen and help, with NO JUDGEMENT. Reach out to me or someone else you feel you can trust. Our society has pushed isolation far too long. Community is needed and needed NOW! We aren’t meant to shoulder the weight of the world alone.
My prayers and love to everyone affected by his death, especially his wife and children. Remember, someone out there loves you and will miss you if you are not here with them. Keep going. There is light on the other side of the darkness.
Hugs and love~ Kimber